


Sunkiss

by mosaicu_baby



Category: Led Zeppelin
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama, Father-Daughter Relationship, Feelings, Jimmy's very human, Other, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:14:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26721238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mosaicu_baby/pseuds/mosaicu_baby
Summary: She's twelve
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	Sunkiss

She's twelve and he knows he failed as a father.

He can blame no one, he was neglectful, more interested in pussies than in his own kid. He realized too late, like so many other things. He doesn't know why he learns so slowly. 

Jimmy walks upstairs, undoing his scraf on the way when he smells it. He knows Charlotte tries to avoid smoking in the house, the only room that reeks of cigarettes is his because Jimmy's too weak sometimes to even get up and open the window. He feels worried thinking what could have happen that she forgets her own rules to hide in safety of tobacco fume and familiar dizziness, but he walks in the kitchen and there is no Charlotte.

Scatlet sits on the chair, one leg is dragged up to her chin, another one is on the floor to keep balance. She swings a little. Instead of glass of her favorite juice there is only empty ashtray on the table. She changed into pajama and her hair is messy yet it doesn't look like she slept at all, maybe she was rolling in bed with her eyes unable to close. Small fingers clumsily squeezes cigarette. One of his. Did she sneak into his bedroom?

Jimmy freezes in the doorway searching for words however all he can come up with is, 'Hey, what are you doing?'

Scarlet gives him a look from under her bangs coloured like rye field. It's not even smoking that bothers him, it's indifference on her face. No kid shall have this kind of look.

'What's this, honey?', he asks again moving closer and softly taking cigarette out of her obedient hand to press it at the glass. Grey smoke fills the room, raises up to the ceiling, she watches it with her mouth half opened before replying. 

'I don't want to feel sad anymore. Don't you do this when you're sad?'

'It's for adults'

'I'm adult', she says with shrug and she sounds damn serious. 

Jimmy doesn't know what to reply. He opens the fridge to get some milk. Scarlet watches him, when he offers her drink she crinkles her nose. 

'Can I have it warm?'

She waits till he warms milk up and only then makes a sip that leaves white trace on her upper lip. Jimmy stretches his hand to wipe it, she pulls away. That's it. He fucked her up. Jimmy closes his eyes, tries to pretend he's not here and never existed. It must be easier for everyone, this way he won't disappoint his little girl, she won't get downhearted. It's so easy, he knows some good hidden spots and they have some ropes in the basement. They used to fix broken plants like this but Jimmy is not a plant, he will never bloom again, all he can do it to put the rope around his neck and jump down. Would it make him free? Yes. Would it make her more sad? Sure.

He shakes down unpleasant feeling before he talks again.

'Your mum will be angry if she finds out, please don't do it again'

'What about you? You aren't angry'

Because it's his fault, his bad example. He doesn't want his daughter to end up like him. 

'It's a very terrible habit'

'I know, don't speak to me like I'm a baby', she says with a hint of irritation. 

They never really fought before and Jimmy's knocked out because he doesn't know how to react. He should scold her for stealing his stuff from his room, but he can't and he feels it's not right moment for educating since most of the time he was absent from her life. She used to love him most of all when she was younger, so devoted as only child can be, they got along well before she grew up to understand. Now when he saw how she's playing with Charlotte trying out her lipsticks or high heels he feels strange. He can see his little girl turning into young woman too quickly and he fears the day when she will look at another man the way she used to look at him. Moreover he fears that she would be mistreated just like he mistreated all these teen girls in his dark gloomy hotel room. Thinking about it drives him insane. He wants to keep her to himself but he knows he can't or she will hate him even more, she needs her own life.

Jimmy decided to dig into it from another side.

'Why are you sad?'

Scarlet freezes. The chair stops squeaking, she doesn't swing anymore. 

'Other girls in my school have full families', she says slowly, 'They go out with their fathers because they do care. I never even see you, you're always busy or sad or tired, that's what mum said. She said I shouldn't bother because you need rest but how can you be always tired?', by the end of her speech she breaks into crying. Jimmy rushes to calm her down making even more fuss than good and she doesn't protest this time. She cries loudly and inconsolably in a way children usually do, Jimmy wipes her face with the end of his scarf feeling powerless to stop it.

The noses from the kitchen wake up Charlotte. She turns on the light and gasps in disbelieve, Jimmy doesn't know if it's more about smoking or about Scarlet's state.

'I can't believe what–', she hisses and cuts off. Jimmy knows he will get his fare share of tonguelashing from her later, now she's busy consoling their daughter, flashing him furious glances from above Scarlet's shoulder. Jimmy is sure she thinks his parenting skills are shit. 

'What happened, baby?', she coos with her sweetest voice that isn't meant for him. Scatlet shakes her head, tears keep dropping down her checks. 'Did you two have a fight?'

'No, I just had a nightmare'

Jimmy cannot believe that his daughter is also a great liar at her age. He really underestimated her, she is more mature than he used to think. Jesus, she understands everything, no matter how they try to act normal for her sake she feels that they are faking it.

'Oh, my poor girl', Charlotte cuddles her head. Jimmy feels annoyed not beeing let to touch his own kid. Does she really think he's such an asshole? Or he is not allowed because he touched other women with these hands?

'Do you need some water?', he asks instead feeling totally useless seeing how two of them interact as if he doesn't belong here. Scarlet grabs his sleeve.

'No, don't go'

They wait till she gets completely calm and Charlotte announces it's time to sleep because tomorrow is school day. She'll be happy to get him out of her way and steal Scarlet away from him, maybe she has more rights as a mother but he is here too. The crack in their relationship becomes too big to ever try to make it up, Jimmy doesn't want it, he wants his daughter. 

'I'm afraid to be alone, I want to sleep in daddy's room' 

Charlotte seems to mellow convinced that Jimmy didn't spoil anything this time, she nods and wishes them good night. Scarlet grabs his hand, leads him up the stairs and Jimmy wonders in his head when did she learn to manipulate her mother better than he ever could. The smell inside of his room earns Scarlet's huge disapproval, so Jimmy opens the windows, burns some incense and puts her in bed. 

'Tell me a story'

'Which story?'

She thinks for a while, 'Do you know where it comes from?', she points at freckles around her nose. 

'It means than sun loves you, you've got a lot of sun kisses'

'So it loves you too?'

Jimmy shrugs. 

'We will keep it a secret, but don't do it anymore. I promise I won't make you sad'

She hums in agreement and rolls in bed untill she can find comfortable position with her head on his shoulder. Jimmy puts his arm around her carefully, afraid to make more mistakes. Scarlet suddenly giggles. 

'I know that you made it up, my biology teacher says it's co–congenial'

'All right, honey, sleep now. I love you'

'I love you too', she says and only now Jimmy feels all the weight of these words speading warmth in his chest.

It's not over, he will try harder tomorrow. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to dig into Jimmy as a father long ago and I really love this story which is different from my usual writings. Let me know if you like it too 🌾


End file.
